Thursday, 17 May 2018

ep: notable moments - 2000 words


Notable Moments

09/10/17
I really like doing card designs! It’s really fun to try out something that I have never done before, really pushing myself to try new things is what I’m going to try and do for this module.

03/11/17
Struggling to work collaboratively for Lifting Towers. I find myself always wanting to be the perfectionist and have things my way and I need to learn how to talk about things professionally, especially things that aren’t going right, because I feel myself becoming annoyed and I don’t want to be unprofessional. I hope that I can work collaboratively and this is just a one off occasion and I’m not a big hothead.

UPDATE/ worked collaboratively with a photographer on Roomzzz brief! It went really well and we worked really well together. We had really good communication which I think is one of the most important parts of doing a project together. I have worked with photographers in the past and for some reason my little doodles always seem to work really well with photographs. Maybe something to consider in the future, teaming up with a photographer(s) in a collective.

16/11/17
Won a competition, feels really good to be validated as an illustrator, especially someone like me who really struggles to see the value in their own work. I wasn’t going to submit to the brief at first because I was concerned about doing a piece of art on such a large scale but I’m glad that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone because the payoff feels great. This brief helped me to realise that pushing myself out of my comfort zone and entering as many competitions as I think I fit into is the best choice, if I don’t win it’s no big deal, but when I do win it feels great. I’m glad that Network Rail recognised that I tried really hard to make a good piece of work for the station.

15/01/18
Started a side project that I’m calling ‘Drawing My Friends’. I want to work more on my character design and see if it really is something that I want to consider as a future career. Am I good enough? Always have these self-doubt thoughts. Childhood dream of working at Disney feels far away right now, need to work out how to either get it back or start creating new dreams.

17/01/18
Whilst working on my COP work, which is about cats and how they are perceived in a creative society, I’ve started to draw a particular cat in my COP journal. I am beginning to fall in love with this character and am having so much fun drawing him. There’s something about how his facial expressions are so different to what I normally do that is making me want to draw more. It feels good to be doing something different. Working with ink and trying not to be so careful with my drawings, instead going with the flow and seeing what the outcomes are. In the past years whilst at university, I have become known as the one that always has to have her work looking perfect. I am going to try and use this brief to work around this and see if I can break out of the perfectionist barrier. Having a different outlook might have been helpful when previously working collaboratively on the Lifting Towers brief and instead of striving for perfection in everything I do, just having fun and seeing where it gets me.

Decided to call the cat Montgomery. He hates everything. I love him. I have discovered a new way I am enjoying working, I am having fun writing stories that I can tell with my illustrations. Making me think that children’s illustration is a good path for me because as I am drawing this I feel like my work is actually getting somewhere that I want it to.

For some reason, drawing Montgomery (which counts as character design, right?) is making me feel like I am getting a little bit closer to my Disney dream, or something similar at least. Trying to push through the thoughts of self-doubt, I worked hard to get where I am today, I draw so much and practice why should I not be good enough?

21/01/18
Finally the end of COP. Feel like now I can solely focus on extended practice. Although I have been keeping good time management and making sure that I am entering briefs and trying to come up with some plan to create a self-directed brief. Feels good to finally say I’m having good time management, feel like the past 3 years of falling behind have finally whipped me into shape.

15/02/18
Finished first Montgomery children’s book page. Really love how it turned out, so why am I having second thoughts about finishing it? Something about Montgomery’s character makes me feel like he either doesn’t belong in a child’s universe or should at least first have his debut to an adult audience. Having thoughts of Montgomery swearing ‘fuck off’, expletives are funny right? I think I have some humour in me, although a lot of the time it’s self-deprecating so maybe working on a character who thinks he’s too good for everything might help me to start getting out of my own head.

Really want to create a Montgomery zine! I think it would work so perfectly, I can hear his really gruff old man voice shouting at the kids to get out of his yard. Still could have the same premise as the children’s book, Monty hates everything – But loves one thing – Sebastian (his owner). Would make a really cute little booklet and might be something to consider selling at the Art Market.

04/03/18
Self-portraits. I can never decide on them. I do so many, yet I always feel like I change too much or my style changes too much. Why can’t I stick to one design? It’s not like my face changes. Need to start setting in stone how I want to work, what I want to work with, what mediums do I like? Really enjoy the self-portrait briefs and how they push me to re-evaluate my practice and try something new every time. Even though this is good thing, it’s also a bad thing because it means I can never decide on which ‘new’ thing I like best. How much trying something different, is too much trying something different?

05/03/18
Really enjoyed researching into zines, they are very fascinating. Found some really good inspiration and I feel PUMPED to make my zine now. Glad that I have discovered that zines don’t have to be magnificent and complicated, because I favour the simple zines for aesthetically pleasing purposes and time management purposes.

14/03/18
Thought I would revisit the ‘Drawing My Friends’ brief, and to my surprise I am really loving the outcomes. They feel like real character designs with personality and charm and for once I don’t want to redo it! Feel like this is such a good moment for me. Although this is only a short mini brief, I suppose sometimes you only need a little bit of light to get out of the dark! (That was deep). Want to try and combine styles and create new full body images of the sketches. Even though I said I wouldn’t, I just can’t help but want to. It feels like my practice is finally coming together, with Montgomery and my Friends brief, it really feels like I’m developing a body of work that I would be proud to show to peers and publishers.

22/03/18
I missed the Templar deadline. I’m really disappointed in myself because I feel super confident in the ideas that I generated, I just didn’t time it well and got all flustered and caught up in the perfection again. Although, it’s not all terrible because I have decided instead of submitting to that deadline, I shall create a new Major project! Got really attached to Biff the dragon, which is probably a good thing because that means the character designing part is working, because I wanted him to be a loveable and adorable character.

Want to create a children’s zine, works perfectly now that I am doing an adult zine for Montgomery. Biff feels like he could really be a children’s book, like for real. Want the zine to have a good message/moral, like most children’s books. Biff has no wings, which could symbolise disability and hopefully make all children feel like they have some representation in the world. Using story-telling to make the world a better place! Inclusive children’s stories! Got really excited when thinking of the possibilities for Biff.

27/03/18
Didn’t get picked for the Papergang shortlist. Quite disheartening because I was quite confident about my submission, but instead of having thoughts that I’m rubbish, just trying to have thoughts that maybe my work wasn’t for them! Although, looking at the shortlist, it kind of sucks to see people on there that just copied a pattern throughout the whole set when OhhDeer said not to do that, basically not putting the work in. Whereas I tried really hard on mine and made sure that all the products were different. Don’t want to sound whiney. Got to get on with it!

31/03/18
Got emailed today from a photographer, they want me to help create their branding! I seem to attract all the photographers. Excited to work on this brief because it gives me a chance to try something new and different. I’ve always loved typography so it also gives me more of a change to try out this skill, as well as composition and colours. This brief also feels more like I’m a real illustrator, because I’ve got to make sure that I do everything to the client’s satisfaction and there’s someone waiting to pay me so they expect the best. It feels pretty good.

Trying out these skills for the photographer’s promotional pack has made me think about my own, I need some more branding and I want a business card, that’d be cool. Then I’d be a real professional. I know that I want to carry on with the name Elizabeth Faye, I know it’s not technically my real name but to be completely honest, I hate the capital letter ‘B’. It seems really silly, but I’d much rather be Elizabeth, and I think it sounds a lot more professional too.

4/05/18
Finished Biff zine today. Both of my zines are done! It feels good to hold them in my hand. Doing zines is so rewarding and having something that I can hold in my hand makes it feel worth it. Learned some new binding skills from my flatemate who is pretty good at it, much prefer the hand-stitched zines as opposed to the stapled ones. It makes it look more personal and keeps them flatter, I found that last year when making the greyhound one it wasn’t flat and I didn’t like it.

The only thing that I wish I could change would be that I had a print slot to print them off onto proper paper instead of just the mock-ups. I emailed for a print slot 3 weeks in advance but never got a reply and when I went in they were all already gone, but it’s no matter. Next time I’ll just have to make sure I have better time management. Well, next time like when I’m a professional because this is probably one of the last times I’ll be using the print rooms here in university. Kind of terrifying.

08/05/18
My final self-portrait is done. I decided to go back to my roots and create a similar portrait to ones that I did in the first year of university. I will always be that girl who has a mental breakdown in a blanket, but I am always that girl who overcomes it in the end and does pretty cool work. At least I think so.

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